


That Butler, a Very Good Boy

by Shousei



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Challenge Response, Doggos - Freeform, Gen, I need to see this please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 07:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26469169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shousei/pseuds/Shousei
Summary: In which Sebastian lives up to his name.(Short story response to the "Patronus" event on the Black Butler Amino.)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	That Butler, a Very Good Boy

“This meeting of the Marylebone Brotherhood of Canines will now come to order!”

A lanky, taffy-and-white foxhound mix sat on a wooden crate left amongst other debris scattered in the London alley, thumping his tail against its slats. His comrades gathered around him in a semicircle, wagging their own tails against the ground in a bid for mutual quiet. A stout, gray bulldog was the exception, heaving a sigh as the meeting got underway. “King, we’ve discussed this…”

“None of that, Reggie; we know how you feel about your stubby tail.” The foxhound shook his head. “There’s no need to take exception at the rest of us using ours. Now, if there’s nothing else…”

“It’s ‘Reginald’,” Reggie could be heard muttering under his breath.

He was ignored. “—onto our meeting. You gentlemen are already aware of our scheduled outing to Bethnal Green to bark at the wind on Thursday next; please feel free to bring anyone of your acquaintance. Now, any new business?”

A tiny, black-and-tan terrier squeaked out a bark, startling the sleeping bloodhound next to him. “King! I have a matter to bring before the Brotherhood!”

“Yes, Henry, what is it?” King squinted at the miniscule terrier. “Hurry up, now.”

“Yes! Well, it’s—he’s a, erm—" Henry looked over his shoulder. “Speaking of acquaintances, I would like to recommend a new member!”

“Oho!” King straightened, his floppy ears perking with interest. “Is that so? Good, good; please bring him forward!”

“Yes, sir! Right away!” Henry stood, skittering off to the end of the alley and returning almost immediately after. He was not alone.

“Gentlemen,” he shook with excitement, nearly knocking himself off his own feet. “Allow me to present Mr. Sebastian Michaelis.”

The assembled dogs collectively stared. They had expected another of their own kind; instead they were greeted by—

“A human?!” cried one.

“…I’m not sure; he smells a bit odd,” another growled. The tall man, clad in a butler’s dark suit and overcoat, smiled blithely at the group.

“Salutations, gentlemen,” he smiled, his carnelian eyes full of warmth. “I am Sebastian Michaelis, butler to his Lordship the Earl of Phantomhive. I seek your assistance on an important matter; I do hope you will not think it impertinent for me to request to join your meeting.”

“Indeed, the impertinence!” howled a graying spaniel. “What can a man such as yourself want from us, other than to drag us to the pound?!”

“Please hear him out, sirs!” The wobble in Henry’s voice matched the one that had overtaken his legs. “It might be useful to have him as an ally!” It was certain that Henry hoped to count himself foremost among those who would benefit from such an arrangement. However—

“This is true,” King murmured his agreement. “All right, Mr. Michaelis, what is it we can assist you with?”

Sebastian remained where he stood, a strained agreeableness plastered across his face. “Cats, sir.”

A collective whisper passed through the group. “Cats, you say?” Reggie looked skeptical. “A worthy interest, to be sure, but why would you need our help with cats?”

Sebastian’s features softened; his face took on a look of one hopelessly enamored. “Quite simply, gentlemen, cats are glorious, angelic balls of fluff sent by heaven to relieve my heart of the myriad stresses to be found as the butler within a prestigious, moody teenage noble’s household.” He swooned, his head tilting and his dark hair spilling into his eyes. “Their soft fur, their lovely meows, their toes—”

Fluffy heads bobbed in agreement all around. “Quite right, quite right.”

“Please, if you will, gentlemen,” Sebastian pleaded, overcome with lovelorn desperation. “Please teach me the best ways to stalk and chase cats, so that I may appreciate them as well as your kind does!”

The assembled members looked at one another, nodding. Their approval was not unanimous, however.

“Why should we teach you our secrets?” Reggie bellowed, slobber laced with condescension spattering his neighbors. “You don’t even have the proper training to receive it; how do we know you won’t ruin our good name?!”

“He has a point,” King mused. “Mr. Michaelis, would you be willing to first demonstrate your mastery of some of our essential skills? If you’re quite serious then you must have at least an awareness of what it is we do.”

Sebastian looked thoughtful, processing what he was being asked. He briefly examined his surroundings, glancing up and down the alleyway and to the street beyond. His eyes widened momentarily as they landed upon something in the street, and he turned back to the dogs with a serene smile.

“Right this way, good sirs, and I will be happy to fulfill your request.” He gestured grandly, indicating that they should follow him to the end of the alley.

Once this motley assortment of hounds had gathered at their vantage space facing the street, they watched him traipse across the road, dodging a carriage to reach the storefront on the other side.

“I would have _chased_ that carriage,” Reggie grumbled, but he was soon shushed by the others.

As they looked on, Sebastian had run over to meet a pair standing outside the rundown shop. They seemed not to question his sudden appearance, and only reacted when Sebastian dropped to sit as a dog would, his rump to the ground and his arms straight in front of him. One of his two audience members, a poshly-dressed boy with an eyepatch and top hat, fairly blanched at the sight and started to wave his cane angrily. They were too far away to hear what the boy was saying but it was certainly expressed at a very high volume. The dogs gasped in admiration as Sebastian raised his “paw” to the boy to shake, but their gasps turned to yelps as the boy bonked a gloved fist onto the butler’s head.

Undaunted, Sebastian ignored the boy’s exasperation and turned to the other of the pair, a tall man in black with long, silver hair and a battered top hat. In contrast to the boy, this man was already crying with laughter, pulling on the boy’s lapel with one hand as if to steady himself. As the dogs continued watching, the man steadied himself long enough to go into the shop and emerge again, carrying a ceramic jar. He pulled a dog bone from it—how lucky Sebastian was to find himself a treat from a stranger!—and held it out for him to sniff.

The butler did so, and nipped at the biscuit, easily stealing it while the man held onto his jar and convulsed with what looked like raw, unbridled amusement. The boy’s face looked like he’d swallowed a hairball.

Having consumed his treat, Sebastian unceremoniously flopped onto the sidewalk in front of them, belly-up. The dogs murmured, impressed, as they watched the man squat down to pat Sebastian’s stomach and the boy turn his back on the scene entirely.

“I say,” exclaimed Henry. “I knew he’d be good, but he could teach _us_ a few things!” The others heartily agreed.

As if he could anticipate their take on his performance, Sebastian had spontaneously popped back to his feet and jogged back across the street to them. In his wake, the man looked rather disappointed, but the boy was marching after the butler, looking like Hell’s fury in kid gloves.

Sebastian arrived slightly ahead of him. “Gentlemen! I trust I showed you all you needed to see to confirm my honorable intentions.” He bowed before the assembly, accepting the applause of their wagging tails (except Reggie, of course). This ended abruptly, as the boy grabbed his collar and pulled him off-balance.

“What do you think you’re _doing_?! You may have given us collateral to exchange for a mountain of information but—you _dolt_! At the cost of my dignity! And all for the sake of—what?!”

Ah, the cats. The art of cat-chasing appeared to be best left to another day. “My apologies, good sirs,” Sebastian bowed again, working the boy’s fingers loose from his coat. “It appears my lessons must be postponed.”

Until when? The dogs all looked at each other. They watched the boy grumble his way back across the street to where the man—clearly caught in a fit of giggles—waved another biscuit at him. Sebastian dutifully followed them both into the shop, looking back with a brief, forlorn look of regret.

The dogs looked on silently for a moment, and then turned back to the alley to resume their meeting. None of them remained envious of Sebastian’s talents, now that they had met his owner.

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

HE WAS NAMED AFTER THE DOG. It had to be done.  
I am pretty sure that Sebastian’s biggest motivator—besides getting to nom Ciel’s soul—is cats, and that he’d do just about anything to get more cat time. I could see him going to this extent (undergoing training in cat-chasing from dogs) to make it happen. ^^

~~I’m also incapable of writing anything without bae in it hehe~~

Thank you for reading!


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